i hate to fly. we're only two days away from our big move and flight to italy and i'm losing hours of sleep. my fear and anxiety completely block my creativity (which explains my lapse in postings) and it takes great effort for me to get through my daily routine without an irrational thought creeping into my mind. i start losing sleep weeks before the flight and begin to practice all sorts of superstitious acts to ensure a safe flight. needless to say, hours are spent in deep prayer and meditation.
now, picture this. we're wrapping up a meal at one of my favorite asian inspired restaurtants. i unwrap a fortune cookie for girl wonder, read her fortune which makes no sense to the life a one year old but then i read mine and it says, "to travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive." panic and anxiety ensues. military man and my mother look at me with a worried look in their faces because they now that i'm thinking of the worse. i can't sleep...irrational thoughts creep into my dreams...i'm scared out of my mind!
finally, i can't take it and before beginning to research the phrase, i repeat it a few times in my head and realize it's true meaning, that hope and anticipation is often better than the reality. how true is that! how many time do we get ourselves all worked up about an event and then when it's finally said and done, we realize that it was just, okay, not this great and magnificent thing that we imagined in our head. does this mean that living in italy is going to be just, okay? heck no! think deeeper.
The original phrase came from Robert Louis Stevenson, 1881: "Little do ye know your own blessedness for to travel hopeully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour." Stevenson was expressing the same ideas as the earlier Taoist saying, - "The journey is the reward."
it's all about the journey folks. i've been so wrapped up in life and my phobias that i've forgotten this fundamental message...to count my blessings, to forge through obstacles and to continue to take chances no matter how scary it may seem. it's not the fear of flying that is making me lose sleep. it's the anticipation of a new life for all of us.
it took a trip to pei wei to remind me of this.