Some things you read just hit you over the head with a hammer. This reading did just that. I have been doing this, unintentionally. These last four months have been a whirlwind...the move to Hawaii, Noel's Change of Command, birthdays, committments, obligations, choosing schools, choosing a church, surgeries, house hunting, waiting & waiting & waiting to move in, then making it our home. I can FINALLY say we're settled. Well, minus the pictures on the walls..that's the last thing. What I consider the icing on the cake. The updates here have been close to nil, but very often on Instagram and here, since
shotty internet connections and my newfound love with an Iphone 4s.
This move broke me down emotionally. I can honestly say that I struggled showing gratitude for what we asked for and feeling heartbroken for the things that I left behind. Yes, I realize I'm in Hawaii...paradise & all and then there was Italy. I sense the non-sympathetic glares from your screen. I deserve them!!! Bring them on!!! I know!!! I feel ungrateful at times but returning to my hometown, living in my own space, surrounded by the people that know me best in the world was as close to heaven as I can imagine. Honestly, Florida and Hawaii are very similar, at least, in my mind...ha ha!
The first time I left home, my family and hometown friends, fifteen years ago, it was exciting. I couldn't wait to start my life with Noel, my military man. I rarely looked back. The same thing happened when we received orders to Italy. However, now, it's all I do...look back. I miss my version of Peyton Place and those crazy characters from home...wretched nostalgia. It's hurt my creativity. I'm in a bit of slump but it'll come back...it always does.
In the meantime, I've been quiet. My hands have been busy creating a home.